watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
