Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
