wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize