Screwed.edu
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
