Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
