just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
