I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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