I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
