Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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