Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize