I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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