can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
And then he peed in my hair
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