spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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