Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
