hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I checked into jail on foursquare
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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