Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
