and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
