god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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