I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
