You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize