He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
