He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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