Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
