omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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