I think I won the penis lottery.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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