Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
