I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
