Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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