We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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