You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
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You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
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I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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