It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
