sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
