Duck Duck Cougar?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
