Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
