U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
