you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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