He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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