Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
