I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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