in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Can you bring me the toilet please
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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