My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
