If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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