What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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