Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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