I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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