Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
