chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
