..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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