forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
