That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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