i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
