hell yes lets make some ravioli
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
