Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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