she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
