if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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