Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you would pick up someone in the library
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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