I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
