When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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