i was born a porn star she said
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
