so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
