Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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