1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
