She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
